Monday, January 10, 2011

Saying Sorry



'Sorry' is an internationally elastic concept.  Where in the UK 'sorry' is what you say when you nudge someone with a supermarket trolley, when slow to grasp a concept, or when breaking into conversation, in Germany you make yourself the butt of many jokes when adopting such an Shrinking Violet, apologetic-to-be-alive stance.  Just launch straight in, life is for getting on with.

In Kenya, use of 'please' and 'thank you' is not widespread.  I've had to teach our guards that in my culture it is really rude to stand towering over me, wagging a finger in my face, saying directively 'What you need to do is...', when what they mean, translated into British English and ways is 'Please, I know its a bit of an imposition, but would you mind doing a, b or c.'  As I've said to them, 'In UK, maybe the judge might wag a finger in the face of an axe-murderer when sentencing to a life in prison. Never ever apart from that. Please don't do it with me again.'

So the, to my mind, exaggerated use of 'Sorry' here is more surprising. Yes, there's 'Sorry' when a minor mistake has been made by the speaker. (Though surprisingly, not when a major mistake has been made.  In the three times this year when I've been shunted by a car behind, not one of the drivers said 'Sorry'.  Or rather, the first one (who also didn't have a driving licence) did finally say sorry, but only after I'd shouted, 20 minutes into the conversation, highpitched and exasperated, as if to one of our children 'And you never even said Sorry!')  But there's also 'Sorry' when I've made a mistake, as in 'Sorry' when I drop my mug of coffee all on my own,  in the sense of 'Oh dear, poor old you, sorry.'  There's 'Pole sana', 'I'm really sorry', when a tragedy has happened. And then, there are people taking on undue responsibility for my shortcomings. As with the tennis coach, who gently throws me the well-positioned ball over the net, bounce once, then hit, for me to miss, yet again. 'Sorry' he says kindly each time, as if suggesting that if only he were better at throwing the ball, I would have hit it. The fault is all his.  'Sorry.'  How WILL I adapt to tennis in the UK?

1 comment:

  1. Very funny, Catrin. You've forgotten, though, the other British use of "sorry", which is when someone bumps into you in the street, and you say "sorry". Odd, though, to discover that the Kenyan are even greater serial apologisers than the Brits.

    ReplyDelete

Please do leave a comment, it is good to hear from you.