A friend chanced upon me this week in a nearby cafe with a long list before me, and hands running through dishevelled hair.
'What's up?'
'I'm trying to put together a list of the skills we need to make sure that twelve year old Firstborn has learned before she goes off to school in UK. The bits she's probably missed because we've been here since she was just ten. The bits you'd just dripfeed if you were in the same country, but we might miss. So we can aim to learn them together over Christmas.'
A long list, because then I thought nine year old SecondBorn shouldn't miss out either.
Reading bus timetables. Reading bank statements. Paying in cheques to the bank. Managing money.
Planning journeys. Booking train tickets online. Comparing routes and prices. Reading an A to Z.
Cooking simple meals and puddings.
Changing beds. Putting on duvet covers.
Mending punctures.
Enquiring politely and complaining politely. Returning goods.
Sewing on buttons. Sewing up hems. Sewing on nametapes. Mending tears.
Using a washing machine. Sorting washing. Ironing.
Personal safety.
Removing splinters.
Skyping.
Oh my. It's not that she's clueless. It's not that she can't do some of these anyhow. Would learn by error. But some of them, in a strange country, without an adult next to her, could be tricky. Could add to the strain.
But the list of basic skills for life in Kenya are different. At school they run a life skills course for the thirteen year olds after exams, after they've returned from their expedition climbing Mount Kenya - already a major challenge. Parents come in and share their skills for independent living in Kenya, where you're often too far from skilled support.
Setting a broken arm in a splint. Basic first aid. Heart massage.
Changing the wheel of a car
Yes, making a bed - 'But why would I need to do this?' queried one child last year. 'My maid does that.'
Cooking
and also I'd add
Unblocking a sewage pipe
Bargaining in a market
Making a fire
Putting up a tent. Building a longdrop toilet.
Sending money by mpesa
What to do in a power cut
What to do when the water runs out
We've been here before. Two years ago the school announced they'd be doing sex education with the year sixes in the following week. Great. Except of course prevalent attitudes in Kenya are very different from what I, we, believe at home. From what we'd like her to understand about sexuality, gay relationships, how we celebrate civil partnerships in UK, from how we'd like this introduced to her. Buckle your helmet FirstBorn, we had a whistlestop tour through sexuality and sex education as we'd hope it would be taught. From the basics via contraception, oral sex and difficult choices like termination, to the twiddly bits.
Next week she comes home from school.
'Well MrT the Scienceteacher didn't go into half as much detail as you did Mum. We just did about sperm and eggs.'
'Oh.'
So I don't want to overshoot by a mile again. What do you think are the essential skills for young people to learn as they become independent? Answers in the comment box below very welcome. Thanks/
'What's up?'
'I'm trying to put together a list of the skills we need to make sure that twelve year old Firstborn has learned before she goes off to school in UK. The bits she's probably missed because we've been here since she was just ten. The bits you'd just dripfeed if you were in the same country, but we might miss. So we can aim to learn them together over Christmas.'
A long list, because then I thought nine year old SecondBorn shouldn't miss out either.
Reading bus timetables. Reading bank statements. Paying in cheques to the bank. Managing money.
Planning journeys. Booking train tickets online. Comparing routes and prices. Reading an A to Z.
Cooking simple meals and puddings.
Changing beds. Putting on duvet covers.
Mending punctures.
Enquiring politely and complaining politely. Returning goods.
Sewing on buttons. Sewing up hems. Sewing on nametapes. Mending tears.
Using a washing machine. Sorting washing. Ironing.
Personal safety.
Removing splinters.
Skyping.
Oh my. It's not that she's clueless. It's not that she can't do some of these anyhow. Would learn by error. But some of them, in a strange country, without an adult next to her, could be tricky. Could add to the strain.
But the list of basic skills for life in Kenya are different. At school they run a life skills course for the thirteen year olds after exams, after they've returned from their expedition climbing Mount Kenya - already a major challenge. Parents come in and share their skills for independent living in Kenya, where you're often too far from skilled support.
Setting a broken arm in a splint. Basic first aid. Heart massage.
Changing the wheel of a car
Yes, making a bed - 'But why would I need to do this?' queried one child last year. 'My maid does that.'
Cooking
and also I'd add
Unblocking a sewage pipe
Bargaining in a market
Making a fire
Putting up a tent. Building a longdrop toilet.
Sending money by mpesa
What to do in a power cut
What to do when the water runs out
We've been here before. Two years ago the school announced they'd be doing sex education with the year sixes in the following week. Great. Except of course prevalent attitudes in Kenya are very different from what I, we, believe at home. From what we'd like her to understand about sexuality, gay relationships, how we celebrate civil partnerships in UK, from how we'd like this introduced to her. Buckle your helmet FirstBorn, we had a whistlestop tour through sexuality and sex education as we'd hope it would be taught. From the basics via contraception, oral sex and difficult choices like termination, to the twiddly bits.
Next week she comes home from school.
'Well MrT the Scienceteacher didn't go into half as much detail as you did Mum. We just did about sperm and eggs.'
'Oh.'
So I don't want to overshoot by a mile again. What do you think are the essential skills for young people to learn as they become independent? Answers in the comment box below very welcome. Thanks/
How old will she be when she goes off to school? I think what you want her to learn is great and certainly very comprehensive being out and about without you around. I'm trying to go back and remember my son when he was 12 years old. He didn't know half those things much before 16 and there's still some things he doesn't know (like reading a bus schedule, but I suppose if he had to do it because it was required of him then he would learn it).
ReplyDeleteOnly thing I could add to what I consider a great list is food safety/handling. That could come under cooking simple meals, but how long to keep leftovers, making sure things are refrigerated, that type of food safety.
Good luck with the lessons!
betty
I think it's a brilliant idea to make the list but does sound like quite a lot for a 12 year old? Stanley did his own washing from about that age but cooking was a slower ongoing process of learning. Cooking depends a bit on whether they enjoy it but they do need to know what they need to eat to stay healthy (which doesn't necessarily involve cooking).
ReplyDeleteA lot of the information stuff is done on line now so I would focus on getting them web savvy and able to look things up. Then they can find out anything they want or need to know.
Communication is key - you haven't got a mobile phone on the list but I would have thought you'd want one. Remember you can top up pay as you go online or from an ATM in an emergency to ensure they've got credit. I think there are contract ones where you get the bill and they get the phone too. Texting is the best thing that's happened for parent/child relations in many generations I think!
What's the list of things you need to be informed about immediately, things that are an email or contact to a local friend, and things which are allowed to remain as 'save the parents from worrying'??
As for managing money! Hah! That's a lifetime's journey surely?? I think it's useful if they have a regular amount coming in (yes, to a bank account but do the statement stuff online, co-op is good for that) which they know they can spend but when it's gone it's gone. And then a linked savings account which has an amount in for emergency use only. Serious questions asked if it disappears for anything you're not aware of, because obviously, you'll need to be informed if there is or has been an emergency.
I realise this is a rather late response (what about adding time management skills to your list??) late but the boy has just gone off for his second term at uni and so reading this touched some kind of a nerve I think!
Rosie